On one hand, I felt delighted being able to see Xue Yun again, but on the other hand, negative feelings, such as sadness and disappointment, arose. She is so near, yet so far at the same time. To elaborate further, I should be happy we are still friends and seeing her healthy and well puts me at ease. Unfortunately, the thought of not being able to be by her side all the time greatly saddens me. Such mixed emotions cannot be described clearly by a mere few words. Those who have undergone similar situations will understand my plight perfectly.
Of course, things were a little awkward when we first met, but I suppose our interactions with one another took a turn for the better as the evening passed. Not focusing too much on my own emotions allowed me to become relaxed, instead of being anxious about my speech and actions. At the end of the day, we managed to converse quite a bit on the MRT ride home.
I never did ask if she is doing well with her boyfriend. Perhaps it was the best course of action. Ignorance can be bliss at times, and certainly, this is one such occasion. As foolish as it may sound, I know that deep down inside my heart, I still harbour feelings for Xue Yun. Maybe, just maybe, regardless of how minute the possibility may be, she will come to realize my sincere feelings towards herself someday.
For now, I shall leave everything to fate (is this considered a weak excuse?) and allow nature to take its rightful course.
 |
| An image to somewhat describe my emotions? |
