Poem: Memories and What May Never Come to Pass

After speaking to a number of friends over the past few days, I finally came to a decision. I have decided to meet or at least, speak with Xue Yun, so that I can obtain some answers to the various questions which I have in mind. If I do obtain them and hopefully, be able to remain friends with Xue Yun, I should try my very best to move on with my life.

She did reply my text message: "What questions you want to ask?". However, before this particular message, I suspect she may have accidentally sent a message meant for another person (possibly her boyfriend) to me: "What do you mean? By hanging out, do you mean going out or hanging things at home?" This is the first time she has ever sent a message meant for another recipient to me. I really hope it was not done out of purpose to spite myself, and even if it was a coincidence, the error seems to have appeared at a very "timely" moment...

In any case, these are the questions I posed to her via text message. As much as I wish to meet up with her, or speak over the phone, the ball is no longer in my court.

1) How long have you been together with your boyfriend?
2) Why didn't you tell me about it and is this the reason why you became quiet recently?
3) What qualities does he have that I am lacking?
4) Did I ever stand a chance?
5) Are we still friends?

My friends have warned that I may never receive a reply and that things will never be the same ever again. In the worst case scenario, both Xue Yun and I may not even remain friends. I do not know if this is the correct decision, but something has to be done eventually.

In addition, in order to vent my frustrations and sorrow, I have composed yet another poem, entitled "Memories and What May Never Come to Pass".

When I look upon snow, as well as the clouds drifting high above in the sky,
Reminding me of your name,
I know your brightest smile will never be reserved for me.

As I walk past karaoke lounges,
Where singing emits from within the various rooms,
I know I will never be able to hear your cute, melodious voice ever again.

When I see couples on the streets,
Walking hand-in-hand, basking in bliss,
I know I will never be able to hold your hands.

As I look upon the important dates of my calendar,
From your birthday to the joyous Christmas,
I know I will never be able to kiss your lips nor give you my well-wishes.

When my heart and mind can't help but think of you,
Wondering if you are doing fine,
I know I will never again play the role of watching over and protecting you.

And while writing this poem,
Filled with my longing for a girl named Xue Yun,
I know you will never be able to read my words.

To end off this sorrowful post, I once had a beautiful daydream, whereby I am able to visit Japan on a trip with Xue Yun, especially since we are both interested in anime and manga. How perfect and wonderful it would have been... Unfortunately, my daydream has now been shattered, realizing that it can never be. :(