Mixed Emotions

On Wednesday (09 May 2012), I met Xue Yun (and her sister-in-law) again, at Kinokuniya Book Stores of Singapore (Ngee Ann City), to help her purchase some books, notably the entire set of the novel entitled "噩盡島".

On one hand, I felt delighted being able to see Xue Yun again, but on the other hand, negative feelings, such as sadness and disappointment, arose. She is so near, yet so far at the same time. To elaborate further, I should be happy we are still friends and seeing her healthy and well puts me at ease. Unfortunately, the thought of not being able to be by her side all the time greatly saddens me. Such mixed emotions cannot be described clearly by a mere few words. Those who have undergone similar situations will understand my plight perfectly.

Of course, things were a little awkward when we first met, but I suppose our interactions with one another took a turn for the better as the evening passed. Not focusing too much on my own emotions allowed me to become relaxed, instead of being anxious about my speech and actions. At the end of the day, we managed to converse quite a bit on the MRT ride home.

I never did ask if she is doing well with her boyfriend. Perhaps it was the best course of action. Ignorance can be bliss at times, and certainly, this is one such occasion. As foolish as it may sound, I know that deep down inside my heart, I still harbour feelings for Xue Yun. Maybe, just maybe, regardless of how minute the possibility may be, she will come to realize my sincere feelings towards herself someday.

For now, I shall leave everything to fate (is this considered a weak excuse?) and allow nature to take its rightful course.

An image to somewhat describe my emotions?

A Harsh Reply and Moving On

She did reply to my earlier text message, and answered the various questions, albeit in an indirect, harsh and cold manner. The following would be her reply (with the short forms extended and the errors, edited).

Response to Question 1 and 2:
Who do you think you are that I have to tell you about my personal stuff? Not all my friends know. Why should I tell the world about it? And it is not that I am quiet; it is just proof that you don't understand me enough coz to everyone I know I only choose to reply messages when I feel like it. If I don't think it is important and all my friends know this (?)

Response to Question 3 and 4:
Like I told you before, it is the feelings that count and not really what the person has. If you ask me why, I also don't know. And as to how long it will last, I also don't know.

Response to Question 5:
I think it is actually quite stupid as I will not even reply you if I don't consider you a friend.

When I first read the message, I was definitely angered. I was very tempted to reply in an equally harsh, if not worse, manner. However, I finally decided not to do so. "Thank you for your reply" was all that I wrote.

Perhaps my questions were too direct and straightforward, causing her to feel offended. However, I did not think they were rude in any way. Nonetheless, I so very much wish to defend myself:

All I wanted to know was whether she has been with her boyfriend for a long time. If so, why did she still go on outings (dates?) with myself, with the most recent ones in late Nov 2011? Why did she tell me she wanted to try out a new restaurant? Why did she say the choice to meet up lies with me? Why did she tell me she wanted a 1.6 metre teddy bear? Aren't these roles meant for her boyfriend? Even if she did get together with her boyfriend in the past 1 month, she could have informed me. To tell the truth, I did not mind spending my money on the various gifts, but I do feel aggrieved for not knowing the truth and being "led-on" to a certain extent. Of course, I should not place all the blame on the other party; perhaps I should have asked if she were attached in the first place. Right now, it is already too late to take back the sincere and genuine feelings which I had for her (and still do, to a lesser extent).

I believe I have put in quite a bit of effort to communicate and understand her, causing me to feel exasperated whenever she remains silent and answers in short sentences on certain occasions, be it face-to-face or via text messages. Yet at times, she is willing to tell me about her day and various events. Am I only there to ease her loneliness or serve as a plaything? Of course, I can't place all the blame on the other party again. Perhaps my method of understanding another person vastly differs from her usual methods of doing so.

Undeniably, feelings count when it comes to relationships and I am unable to refute this particular point. However, will there come a day when feelings for your partner fade suddenly?

From her response to question 5, I suppose we are still friends, even though I was deemed stupid. Being the soft-hearted bear that I am, I definitely wish to remain friends with her.

In conclusion, I personally felt that her reply was extremely rude, but placing myself in her shoes, agitation, frustration and other negative emotions are understandable. There is one good thing which came out of her reply - As much as there is lingering feelings for Xue Yun in my heart, it has also strengthed my resolve to move on. I cannot rule out the possibility that she said all these words to aid me in moving on. If so, thank you, not only for helping me proceed to the next chapter of my life, but also for the fun and enjoyable times which I spent with you.

And to all my readers, have I made the right decision in giving her up and moving on?

Poem: Memories and What May Never Come to Pass

After speaking to a number of friends over the past few days, I finally came to a decision. I have decided to meet or at least, speak with Xue Yun, so that I can obtain some answers to the various questions which I have in mind. If I do obtain them and hopefully, be able to remain friends with Xue Yun, I should try my very best to move on with my life.

She did reply my text message: "What questions you want to ask?". However, before this particular message, I suspect she may have accidentally sent a message meant for another person (possibly her boyfriend) to me: "What do you mean? By hanging out, do you mean going out or hanging things at home?" This is the first time she has ever sent a message meant for another recipient to me. I really hope it was not done out of purpose to spite myself, and even if it was a coincidence, the error seems to have appeared at a very "timely" moment...

In any case, these are the questions I posed to her via text message. As much as I wish to meet up with her, or speak over the phone, the ball is no longer in my court.

1) How long have you been together with your boyfriend?
2) Why didn't you tell me about it and is this the reason why you became quiet recently?
3) What qualities does he have that I am lacking?
4) Did I ever stand a chance?
5) Are we still friends?

My friends have warned that I may never receive a reply and that things will never be the same ever again. In the worst case scenario, both Xue Yun and I may not even remain friends. I do not know if this is the correct decision, but something has to be done eventually.

In addition, in order to vent my frustrations and sorrow, I have composed yet another poem, entitled "Memories and What May Never Come to Pass".

When I look upon snow, as well as the clouds drifting high above in the sky,
Reminding me of your name,
I know your brightest smile will never be reserved for me.

As I walk past karaoke lounges,
Where singing emits from within the various rooms,
I know I will never be able to hear your cute, melodious voice ever again.

When I see couples on the streets,
Walking hand-in-hand, basking in bliss,
I know I will never be able to hold your hands.

As I look upon the important dates of my calendar,
From your birthday to the joyous Christmas,
I know I will never be able to kiss your lips nor give you my well-wishes.

When my heart and mind can't help but think of you,
Wondering if you are doing fine,
I know I will never again play the role of watching over and protecting you.

And while writing this poem,
Filled with my longing for a girl named Xue Yun,
I know you will never be able to read my words.

To end off this sorrowful post, I once had a beautiful daydream, whereby I am able to visit Japan on a trip with Xue Yun, especially since we are both interested in anime and manga. How perfect and wonderful it would have been... Unfortunately, my daydream has now been shattered, realizing that it can never be. :(

Rejection, Resentment, Jealousy and Most of All, Misery

Today is New Year's Eve and I know for sure I am not entering 2012 in a happy mood. Why you may ask? I have been rejected by the same girl again, but this time round, she tells me she already has a boyfriend.

I have never mentioned it in any of my previous posts, but her name is Xue Yun (literally "Snow Cloud"). Even though we went out together late last month, she became very quiet all of a sudden. I wondered if it was something I did. On 28 Dec 2011 (Wednesday), I met up to pass her some books, but even during our short encounter, she remained extremely quiet and was reluctant to speak with me. Feeling exasperated, I went home, penned down all of my feelings on a letter and visited her workplace impromptu the next morning.

I openly expressed my feelings towards her and apologized if I have done anything wrong. Of course, she was extremely annoyed that I dropped by without notice and refused to accept my letter. I had no choice but to leave it on her desk. At that point in time, I told myself I only wished to be friends with her again, to be able to chat and speak freely about all matters under the sun, but when she finally texted me in the evening, it was the following: "I am sorry I have to reject you again and by the way, I already have a boyfriend." Given that I have already noticed a ring on her finger, I should have sensed something was amiss.

My world collapsed around me. On one hand, I want her to be happy, because in my opinion, her radiant smile is one of the most wondrous sights I have ever experienced, but on the other hand, I really wish I am the guy by her side. Is it selfish and greedy of me to think of the latter?

I have really tried my best in trying to make her happy. I believed my sincere and true feelings, as well as determination, would be able to touch and win her heart, but alas, I failed miserably. Right now, I am swarmed with negative emotions - resentment, jealousy, feelings of unfairness and misery. I am not ashamed to admit that I prayed to the powers above for help, but did they not hear my pleas?

Furthermore, all my current thoughts revolve around Xue Yun. I can neither eat nor sleep properly. I can't help but recall all the fond memories I had with her - from the first time I asked for her mobile number, when we visited Library@Esplanade together, our outings to Vivocity, our singing sessions, etc. Looking at the text conversations we had, should I have done things differently to win her heart? Possess more courage, be more assertive?

To a certain extent, it has been an enjoyable year, especially during those occasions where I spent time with Xue Yun. Ever since I got to know her, there is motivation in my life. Even looking forward to a simply text reply from her will make me happy. Am I such a naive bear? But now:

I know I will never be able to hold her hand.
I know I will never have a chance to kiss her.
I know I will never have the opportunity to bring her to movie dates and other places of interest again.
I know her smile will be reserved for that special person in her life.
I know I will never see her putting on the cute Nyan pose for me ever again.
And I know it is no longer my role to watch over her as an "guardian angel".

What should I do now? After speaking to a few friends, I could choose from the following options:
1) Give up. "Someone better will enter my life", but when will "she" appear?
2) Wait. If she ever wants me, I will gladly accept her.
3) Continue to pursue her. According to my friends, all is fair in love and war.

In addition, I have so many questions I wish to ask Xue Yun and I believe only she has the answers which I want to personally hear. Will she be willing to meet up and have a long chat with myself? Of course, my friends have advised me not to harbour any expectations of being accepted by her. To make matters worse, the miliary camp in which I am supposed to attend training soon is located close to her workplace.

Right now, these images represent my emotions perfectly. Up till today, only 2 girls have ever caused me to shed tears and Xue Yun happens to be one of them.











Can someone or somebody teach me what I should do and make this pain go away?

Beary Christmas and Happy New Year!

I have yet to complete the poem which I promised previously, but since I am stuck at home right now, I have decided to update my blog by wishing everyone a "Beary Christmas and a Happy New Year!"

Over the past week, I took some photographs of the Christmas decorations in Singapore for one of the activities organised by an online forum which I frequent. Along the way, I captured some photographs of my fellow bearkind. For some reason, I knew exactly what they wished for this Christmas; being a "bear" (my online persona) myself, I long to be cuddled, hugged and given a sweet home by an owner of my choice. :) Too bad I wasn't able to help them out...

Enough of talk, here are the images everyone are looking forward to:


I really like the one on the left, with its -_- eyes.


Tatty Teddy! I saw an updated comic strip with regards to how Tatty Teddy turned grey and it never fails to warm my heart each time. :)






Aren't these little bears cute? They can be found at Takashimaya (Ngee Ann City) almost every year, during the Christmas season.


Rilakkuma. He has been overwhelmingly popular recently, making me feel kinda envious. :D It would be good to relax, have a nice home and family at the same time.






More bears with some other cute animals! They are calling out to us... :D


Even more Tatty Teddy!


Rilakkuma and Korilakkuma. Photograph taken by my colleague, Marz.

Once again, Beary Christmas everyone! May Santa bring you lots of presents and grant all your wishes! Otherwise, we will just have to work harder next year. *Bear Hugs*

Trying Your Best Is Never Enough

A short entry before I start on a new poem.

I really tried my best to make it a memorable day last Sunday, 27 Nov 2011. However, it appears my efforts were not good enough. Perhaps I shouldn't have sprung a surprise by organising the activities so early in the day. Neither did I expect a lack of interest and worst of all, a sprained ankle.

I started the day in high spirits, only to end it with a miserable mood...

In conclusion, things never go according to plans and trying one's best is sometimes never enough.

Happy 25th Birthday, Shinobu Maehara!

It has become customary for me to do so every year. Happy Birthday Shinobu Maehara! May all your dreams and wishes come true on this very special day!

Unfortunately, my personal laptop has crashed from the BSOD, and it is unable to boot up. This temporarily replacement does not contain the various images of Shinobu which I would like to share with everyone. :(

Furthermore, with my grandfather passing away recently, I don't think it would be appropriate to create a long, celebratory post. I am sure Shinobu would understand the difficulties I am facing right now.

Nonetheless, enjoy your day, Shinobu!

Real Steel (A Copy and Pasta From My Post on a Forum)

I attended an event by one of our suppliers last Thursday, whereby we were invited to watch the movie entitled "Real Steel".

In the future, in-ring fighting and boxing have been replaced by robots instead of sportsmen. Hugh Jackman plays the role of Charlie Kenton, a former boxer, who now earns a living by controlling robots to win their fight. Unfortunately, he is currently in a slump, whereby nothing goes right for him. In addition, he is reunited with his 11-year old son, Max Kenton, whom he abandoned many years ago.

Together with the robot "Atom", whom they discovered by chance, both father and son rise to fame and challenge the reigning champion "Zeus" for the world title.

Since I do not watch movies all that often, each title tends to leave an impression on myelf. Some viewers may claim that the storyline is similar to other related movies, but I still found myself rooting for the underdog, or rather, under-robot, "Atom". In addition, the father-and-son relationship started out on a rocky path, but eventually ended on a perfect note. Again, some may claim it is cliche, but having this particular aspect meant that the human actors were given a fair share of screen time, not simply relying on CG and fight scenes to woo the crowd.

However, I suspect males and children will probably enjoy the movie more than females, although I could be wrong.





Since I am on the topic of movies, some of my friends always complain about myself being a spoilsport, especially when not joining them for movies. After some thought, I believe my criteria for watching movies is as follows, with number 1 being the most important factor.

1) Good company.
2) Free tickets.
3) It is an animation.
4) Movie should preferably feature some cute character(s) or animal(s).

Not all of these factors may come into play and I believe there might be exceptions every now and then.

Snow, Clouds and You

It has been a while since I attempted to write a poem, but I did have some inspiration and motivation recently. However, it may not turn out as well as expected.

Title: Snow, Clouds and You

As snow begins to fall,
People may experience a sense of chilliness.
Yet when looking upon a terrain engulfed in snow,
Pure white and glistening,
People may experience a surreal sight.

Clouds sometimes block out sunlight,
Presenting a gloomy and overcast view to one's sight.
Clouds however also provide shade,
As leisurely activities bade.

Like the snow, you may appear cold at times,
But maintaining an untouchable aura of beauty.
Like the clouds, you could be expressionless at times,
But its ever-changing nature also means a brilliant smile may appear.

Snow and Clouds are integral parts of nature,
Together with your presence,
It paints a lovely picture.

That being said,
私は雪雲が大好きです。
しかし彼女に、私はただの友達です。
私の心が大変痛いです。
そして泣いています。

General Elections in Singapore... and Respect

For those of you who do not know much about the ongoings in Singapore, the results of the General Elections for 2011 have been announced.

As expected, PAP managed to retain the majority of seats in Parliament, 81 out of 87. The Workers' Party won the remaining 6 seats, through Hougang and Aljunied.

Being a first time voter, I have been following news concerning the elections, as well as the different political parties, rather closely, via the internet, newspapers and television programmes. Furthermore, while travelling from one place to another throughout the past few days, either for work, classes or leisure, I have seen quite a few political parties and their respective members campaigning at public locations, such as stadiums, open fields, MRT stations and HDB flats.

From the various reports and images I have seen, there is a particular politician who has earned my respect - Mr Chiam See Tong. He is supposedly 76 years old and has suffered from a stroke previously, but yet he continues to work hard for Singapore. I don't know him personally, but I am quite embarrassed to say that on certain weekdays, especially Mondays, I wake up in the morning and the first thought that comes to mind is: Sianz, I have to go back to work today. Mr Chiam is old and he probably isn't in the best slate of health, but yet he works hard. On the other hand, I am so many years younger as compared to him and I am already "complaining" on a regular basis. If I were to be 76 years old, can I proudly proclaim that I will be as active and as motivated? On the bright side, perhaps this particular General Elections can spur me to take on a more enthusiastic approach and outlook to life.

A Really Bad Cough and Other Thoughts

I have been coughing for about 2 weeks and during this period of time, I have visited the doctor thrice. Hopefully, I will recover by this weekend, so that I can head for Japanese class next week without any worries or discomfort. Which reminds me, I should revise what I learnt previously. Due to the limited availability of classes, it has been a month since I last attended any lessons on the Japanese language. I could have forgotten quite a bit of material. -_-

After looking through my blog recently, I realized that there is a lack of images for the past couple of posts. Coincidentally, I have just submitted an article along with some photographs for the latest issue of my company's internal newsletter. Therefore, I thought it might be a good opportunity to upload these photographs here as well. They were taken courtesy of my colleague, Benjamin, with his excellent photography skills. True be told, I am quite reluctant to remove my figurines from their packaging, especially since my room does not possess sufficient storage space right now.


Lala from To Love Ru, a birthday gift from my sister.


My favourite To Heart 2 character, Manaka Komaki.


One of the more popular 妹 in anime right now, Kirino Kousaka.


A group image.


On the left, 1/4 scale Fate from Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha StrikerS. And to the right, Kallen from Code Geass, a gift from Luke and friends during one of my birthdays.

Moving on to a more philosophical aspect of this post, last Saturday, I was on my way home from Ang Mo Kio. Whilst travelling along a sheltered walkway, I happened to notice a snail making its way across the pavement, from one grass patch to another. Knowing that the walkway is often used by my fellow human beings, I considered picking the snail up to aid it in its slow journey, but ultimately, I decided against doing so partly due to a fear of coming into direct contact with the snail. After taking a few steps forward, a fellow human being walked past me, towards the direction of the snail, just as I predicted. Again, I could have warned the man about the snail on his path, but I did not. Watching the scenario unfold before my eyes, the man avoided stepping on the snail, but the movement of his feet kicked it quite a distance. I am unsure if the snail was killed during this unfortunate accident, but I can't help but feel a little guilty about not doing anything throughout the entire situation. Should I have left things to fate or perhaps it would be better if I had intervened?

Two of my friends have gone abroad for holiday recently - one to South Korea and the other to United States. The former should have been back yesterday and I hope I wasn't forgotten when it comes to souvenirs. :p

Last but not least, I would like to post a question to everyone. Have you ever encountered a situation whereby a simple text message can bring about a flood of mixed emotions - happiness, disappointment, relief, etc? It is quite amazing, wouldn't you say so?

Everyday is a Learning Journey.

I managed to apply for a day of leave on 10 March 2011 and within that day, I gained quite a bit of knowledge. Some of these knowledge can be found or seen in our daily lives, but more often than not, we tend to take them for granted.

- Sometimes, a single phone call can save us quite a bit of inconvenience. Furthermore, an answer could be obtained on the spot.

- Shops and stores need to constantly upgrade in order to survive the competition. Upon speaking with the store owner after having my photograph taken did I learn that negatives are no longer provided; instead a soft copy will be issued within a CD-Rom.

- Waiting for others may not necessarily be frustrating, especially if one is anticipating the upcoming activity. In addition, the surroundings may provide some form of entertainment, perhaps in the form of animal (and human) behaviour.

- Is it true that males do not really like to consume sweet foodstuff? I should conduct a survey among my peers. Otherwise, I may be considered an anomaly or outlier.

- Depending on the situation, it may be impolite to speak while eating. Quite obvious isn't it, but most of us fail to take note of such behaviour... or is it only me? O_o

- Someone convinced me about how troublesome it would be to use an umbrella or raincoat, especially if the rain is still bearable. I am quite amused by the analysis provided. :) However, how can I abandon my trusty umbrella, who has gone through thick and thin with me over the years?

- Even though I am not very music-literate, I am impressed by how passionate and happy others can be while studying said subject. The same can be said of other fields of studies. Just take a look at your surroundings when entering the local libraries. That being said, is music performed by chinese instruments as widespread as its western counterparts? Looking back, I believe quite a few secondary schools would have chinese orchestra as a co-curricular activity.

- Perhaps I am indeed too mindful of the opinions of others. Instead of simply going along with their views (and/or words), I could be more pro-active by making a decision first, and subsequently informing the other party. The chinese saying "先斩后奏" comes to mind.

- Lastly, time always flies by when one is having fun. I do hope to spend more time with certain individuals, be it family or friends, assuming I am given the opportunity to do so. Now that quite a number of us are working, and some in relationships (I feel the envy rising within me), opportunities for us to meet up can be limited, even more so in a big group.

The above sums up my particular Thursday.

Moving on, I am sure most of us would be aware of the disasters which struck Japan recently. An earthquake of a huge magnitude occurred in Japan, and the subsequent tsunami, added to the woes of its residents. As I write, Japan is also facing another potential problem with its nuclear plants, which were damaged by the earthquake. Hopefully, with help from the international community, Japan and its residents will be able to rebuild the affected areas as well as their lives.

Last but not least, on another unrelated note, I just learned how to type sentences out in Japanese using my laptop. The following would be a simple test to see if they can appear on my blog.

熊さんは可愛いです。

あなたはとても可愛いです。

Thoughts on Reservist.. and An Upcoming Test!?

I had wanted to write this post on Monday, 28 February 2011, my first day back at work after reservist. As the day went by, I was surprised to find myself missing reservist, most probably due to the backlog of tasks I had to clear in the office. I wonder if my fellow camp-mates and friends felt the same way?

To a certain extent, I have to say that my 6th In-Camp-Training was quite enjoyable. Throughout this period of time, I learned that there are some people whom we can never work smoothly together with, but yet we can still have fun together. The 1/3 lunch incident, dessert incident, banana jokes as well as the unfortunate event where I slipped and knocked my head were quite memorable. Hopefully, I will be able to see my fellow camp-mates and friends soon, possibly at a clubbing session since they seem keen on the idea. The only problem - I don't club nor drink. Maybe orange juice will be a wise idea.

In addition, my Japanese test for the Elementary 2 level is just a week away. I have a friend who has not attended classes for quite a while, but intends to sit for the test. I can't help but imagine the looks on the faces of our fellow classmates, even more so if my friend does well for the test. What will our Sensei say? :D

That being said, I should also make an effort to revise and study hard over the next few days.

Happy 25th Birthday Shinobu! And a Huge Update?

I can't believe it has been a year since my last update. Thankfully for Shinobu, I will always return to my blog around 15 November of every year.

First and foremost, Happy 25th Birthday Shinobu Maehara! May all your dreams and wishes come true on this very special day! It has been many years since the publication of Love Hina, but I am sure said title remains fondly in the memories of many readers. However, for those of you who don't know, a special all-colour chapter of Love Hina was published to celebrate the 300th chapter of Negima not too long ago. One can easily find it by performing a seach on Yahoo or Google... or so I think.

Without further ado, here are more images to celebrate Shinobu's 25th birthday!


Looking good in whatever clothes she wears.


Even more kawaii when blushing.


Perfect day for a picnic. One should take the opportunity to enjoy good food and the beautiful nature surrounding us.


Shinobu is reminding us that Christmas is just around the corner. Have you been a good person this year?


Baths can be fun too.


Fond memories from the old days.

Enjoy your day Shinobu!

Moving on to some updates in my daily life, I am glad to say that I have been well. Not too long ago, I came to realize that the health of one's family members and that of oneself is of utmost importance. Of course, we should also show concern for friends who are close to ourselves. Although it is quite an easy concept to grasp, people tend to take it for granted, especially in the pursuit of other goals.

Throughout the past one year, there have been moments where I craved for companionship, hoping to find a special someone who will listen to all my troubles and speak of any topic under the sun with myself. Looking back, I must have been rather moody on those days. Romance cannot be rushed, as some would claim, but at the same time, one should not neglect it if the opportunity comes knocking. Hopefully, mine will arrive soon enough.

Japanese classes have also become a part of my weekly schedule. Although I am still at the early stages of learning, I do hope to become more proficient over time, assuming I make an effort to revise on a regular basis. Instead of heading straight home after work from Mondays to Fridays, I thought it might be a good idea to sign up for some classes, partly to improve myself. To a certain extent, I also believe it will open more doors in future, perhaps career-wise.

Apart from the above, I don't think I have changed much. Most of my interests remain the same, but my room is definitely piling up with additional anime magazines, manga titles and figurines. Perhaps it would be a good opportunity to spring clean my room by utilising the leave which must be cleared by the end of December. 7 days (as of this post) should be enough... right?

I assume the wall of text must have hurt some of your eyes? Here are the photographs which I promised my friends previously. I am embarrassed to say that some of them go as far back as August 2009. ^_^;;







Birthday celebration in 2009. If my memory serves me right, we had a Japanese dinner at Paragon. Call me superstitious; I read somewhere that it isn't appropriate to take a photograph of 3 people.


Only Aw was absent from this gathering. When was the last time we had full attendance? We had a great time eating at Dian Xiao Er and cracking jokes about the scenes in medieval martial arts related movies.


Dinner at Sizzler. We were the last few patrons to leave.








Another birthday celebration, this time in 2010. Coincidentally, we had Japanese food again. Then again, what other choices are available? ;)








Session 2 of the Zombies! boardgame which I played with Gan, Kester and Mark. This particular game brought out the worst in us as only one player can win, either by reaching the helipad first or killing 25 zombies. There was plenty of laughter when we turned on one another. And guess what? I won on both occasions. Woot Hoot!

Lesson Learned: Trust only yourself during a zombie outbreak. :P

That's it for now. Till the next time!

Happy 24th Birthday Shinobu! (A Quick Update)

Ok, I guess I am a couple of hours late. Happy Belated Birthday Shinobu! May all your dreams and wishes come true!

How time flies. Yet another year has passed and my beloved female anime character is a year older. I am not sure if the younger anime fans know who Shinobu Maehara is, since a few years have passed since the initial airing of "Love Hina". Nevertheless, Shinobu will always remain important to me.

Here are some Shinobu-related images:


A cake to celebrate the occasion.


Christmas is around the corner and it appears that Shinobu is in the mood for some singing.


It has been raining over here recently; an umbrella would come in handy.


Don't fall ill.


An obligatory pic of grown-up Shinobu.

Have fun on this very day!

P.S. I should be getting around to posting all the birthday photos I took a few months back... I hope. ^_^;;

How My Heart Aches Too...

Over the short timespan of 6 months, one of my closer female friends lost two of her loved ones. I can only imagine how miserable she must be feeling right now. When I met her last Thursday, few words were spoken between the both of us, but from her facial expression, I did not need to hear them to understand her emotions.

I believe this is the first time I ever saw her cry, not to mention so badly, in our 9 years of friendship. It is inevitable for human beings to grieve when a loved one leaves our side; suppressing the tears would definitely make things worse... at least in my opinion.

While she sobbed and recalled her memories of her loved one, plenty of emotions surged within me as well, most notably that of helplessness, since I couldn't provide her with much comfort. The scene in which she said "I really miss her" remains deeply etched in my mind. How I wish I was able to hold her and wipe away those tears of sadness; unfortunately, I wasn't even able to offer her a packet of tissue.

The road ahead remains difficult, at least in the near future, where you have to adapt to quite a bit of changes in your life, but if you are reading this post, I sincerely hope you remain strong to overcome all hurdles. If the need ever arises, don't ever hesitate to seek my assistance. I will always be around.

Disappointment... and A Lack of Conviction

I am sorely bitter that my planned trip to Japan in August, to attend Comiket 76, has been postponed, most likely till December. Although there will be a winter Comiket held at the end of the year, it is usually of a smaller scale as compared to the one in August.

Warning: I am going to rant in this particular post and obscenities will be used. More importantly, my rant is directed at some people whom I know, so if you are going to get offended, don't read on.

First off, let me start by saying that all my friends are nice people. Otherwise, they wouldn't be my friends in the first place.

Now comes the horrible bit. It is inevitable for human beings to have flaws, but some antics of my friends have definitely gotten on my nerves, especially with regards to our planned trip to Japan.

Being the person that I am, I asked around to see who else is interested in visiting Japan and attending Comiket 76. Although there were some negative replies from a couple of friends, telling me to go ahead without them, either due to potential work commitments or lack of funds, I don't really blame them, since their answer were pretty clear cut.

After some searching and discussion, I thought I had finally found someone to accompany me on my trip. Around 3 weeks ago, we were talking about booking the flight tickets, but until yesterday, nothing has been done. Instead, the entire trip has been postponed to December! Although I am still keen on visiting Japan, a huge portion of my enthusiasm has been lost.

I can't help but feel that I have been played out by a friend. If you aren't interested in the entire trip or unable to do so at this time of the year, just FU*KING say so! Maybe I am jumping to conclusions, but the delay in the booking and purchase of the flight tickets seem to indicate that he wasn't interested. In fact, I doubt he knew which part of Japan he would like to visit, nor the hotels he would like to reside at. I admit the recent Influenza A outbreak may have caused some worry, especially if one were to get quarantined. Still, that does not appear to be the case.

Although I have on many occasions stated that I would require the air tickets soon, if we were to visit Japan in August, since documentary proof of my trip has to be submitted to Mindef and my unit, he has clearly ignored this particular piece of information. Better yet, one of his main reasons for postponing the trip to December would be the cooler weather. Of course, he did add that there will be fellow travellers.

Two words come to mind: FU*KING PU**Y! If you are so damned scared of the sun and humidity, why not use an umbrella while living in Singapore for past 20-odd years? In fact, don't head out at all! When one provides such reasons, it only goes to show that they are less passionate about attending the convention as compared to myself. Maybe he simply wasn't as hardcore an anime and manga otaku as I made him out to be.

I wouldn't say I am not at fault. Since the entire trip was my idea, I should have made a firm stand on all decisions, instead of leaving them to the convenience of others. I did notice his lack of interest, and perhaps I should have voiced it out along the way. Unfortunately, I didn't, leading to the current situation.

There are definitely pros and cons to visiting Japan at different times of the year, one of which would the submission of documents to the authorities. However, one can never tell when I may be called up for military duties again.

In addition, there are a couple of lessons I have learned from the whole saga:
1) Clearly indicate my stand. If I had been more determined, with a stronger sense of conviction, my attendance at Comiket 76 would definitely been confirmed.

2) It is all right to be angry. Recently, I have been trying much harder to put myself into the shoes of others, from the slow driver on the road, all the way to the passengers not moving to the centre carriage of a train. For some reason, I just can't empathize with my friend, since I was so looking forward to the vacation.

Lastly, if you are the friend whom I mentioned in the above post, please kindly take no offence to my harsh words. I sincerely wish that our friendship will remain at the same level as it is. I simply had to vent my anger and frustrations somewhere. Even as I speak, these negative emotions are still present within me... unfortunately.

Has it been 5 Months since my last post!?

Welcome to yet another episode of Gambler's somewhat random "Thoughts for the Day"! It has definitely been a while and I hope the following post will keep you deeply entertained.

Well then, let me start off with my work life before proceeding on to the juicier bits. In the past 5 months, I have gotten to know some of my colleagues a lot better, which helps to improve relationships. Of course, some of my negative traits may have revealed themselves, *cough* gambling habits *cough*, and I doubt they have gone unnoticed. However, we are only human and there are bound to be some faults with each and every one of us. As long as they aren't serious flaws, I assume everything should be fine.

Apart from inter-personal relations within the office, my workload has increased significantly too. Gone are the days where I can ask if anyone else needs any assistance with their various tasks. Although I have been completing my work on time, I am also the type of person who needs the affirmation of others, especially my managers, on my progress and contributions. There hasn't been any complaints so far, which may be a good sign, since some may say "No news is good news". Then again, neither is there any form of commendation... at least not to my knowledge.

There are many things I have yet to learn, but hopefully, opportunities will present themselves, allowing me to grasp them soon enough.

Moving on to my personal and financial life, the Champions League has been both a source and loss of income for my wallet and bank account. I managed to win around $30 from my soccer bets on the results of the quarter-finals, but I also lost 1/3 of it on the semi-final matches held over the past couple of days. I did not expect both Barcelona v Chelsea and Man U v Arsenal to be that low-scoring. Anyway, some of my winnings did go to the poor and needy, notably through the purchase of tissue packets.

A dollar may not mean a lot to us, but this sum of money could have a significant impact on the daily lives of the old, poor and needy. My less than postworthy gesture of kindness reminded me that there is no way I can help everyone, everyday. IF ONLY I HAD MORE POWER... To a certain extent, I understand how the protagonists of the recent Gundam series (Seed, Destiny and 00) feel. Power in the right hands can change the world; at the same time, the possibility of corrupting one remains very real.

I have also been planning for my trip to Japan in August. At the moment, nothing has been confirmed, since there are a couple of obstacles hindering my path. Hopefully, all will turn out fine, allowing me to visit the biggest and most popular convention of them all: Comic Market, commonly known as Comiket to those familiar with the anime and manga scene.

On the topic of Japan, I would think its people are quite a creative and innovative bunch. Such a trait can be clearly seen in their re-invention of certain goods and services. Don't ask my how I came across the following product (photo courtesy of a member on a forum I frequent):



Yes, you got it right; those are mousepads with "boobs", also known as oppai mousepads in the otaku community. Apparently, they are rather popular among certain anime and manga fans. A simple search on hlj.com and hobbysearch revealed that these mousepads cost slightly more than 3000 yen, which would amount to around S$50. The contours of the mousepad supposedly provides wrist support for a computer user, though how effective the product serves its purpose remains to be seen. Nonetheless, the companies which came up with the idea to manufacture these products seem to be making good money...

To further prove my point, the Japanese have recently taken the traditional workout video and re-packaged it with anime scenes and sequences. From the image below, one can easily tell why the DVD is popular among the male audience.



Entitled "Isshou ni Training (with Hinako)", the workout anime is suitable for viewers of all ages. As long as it helps viewers to engage in some form of exercise, I would think it has served its purpose as an useful product.

Last but not least, there is "K-On!", an anime which began airing in Japan recently, focusing on 4 highschool girls and their lives as band members. Apparently, there is an ongoing "K-On!" craze, where sales of guitars are going up in Japan. People have even starting purchasing left-handed guitars, which I didn't think were very popular to begin with.

To end off, I shall leave all of you with an image featuring the K-On girls and their teacher in meido outfits. Enjoy!



P.S. My next post is going to be a f**king rant.